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June 11th, 2009

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Seeing as this place died, plus I'm hooked on webook, this is where all future writing goes (for whoever may lurk here and read that hasn't already been updated through other channels)

Also, something I haven't really buzzed anyone about but I'd like to see some people show up for (Colleen? Sarah?) is my project "Like a Knife Through a Gordian Knot" The whole thing deals in experimental styles. I'd be interested in seeing what some of you folks could cook up.

That is here...


Also, for those looking for other good reading, try...






August 5th, 2008

So I tried for some artistic merit. Words like 'cock' and 'tits' tend to be an instant turnoff for me and I was going for something that was legit kind of erotic and hot. And it had to have things like bondage and shiz cuz that's how I roll and it's what gets me lubed.

So here you go. 

January 30th, 2008


Far and away the best thing I've written in a long, long time. Brendan Black takes revenge for an old act and quite possibly makes the biggest mistake of his life. Also, a new character appears with an old name. With Crisis on the horizon, changes are coming and Brendan may not survive the process...

January 3rd, 2008

Hazard Pay


Walk the line between slaughterhouse and restaurant.
Keep touting your superiority. It will suit you in the end.
Oh, look. A splash of blood against the pale white of the floor.
There’s me and mine, smiling against the Christmas tree.
There’s my first love, waving at me with a sad look in her eyes.
Why so sad beautiful? Can’t you see the lights?
Oh this? It’s nothing. Just a scratch really.
I’m sure I’ll be quite alright once home-time swings around.
What’s that? I won’t be making it back you say?
Well, that’s most unfortunate.
I suppose I must be off then.

Last one out, hit the lights behind you.

December 14th, 2007


TWO CHAPTERS and a summary outline could get you $10,000 and a chance to be published and get another $100,000? This is the shit dreams are made of.

Cory and I are already in this, which means the competition is already tough, but c'mon...it's good fun.

Also, I have to update my RPs, as I have a whole batch needing to be posted, including a lot of DCW. WOO!

October 18th, 2007

Output, rit.

DCW stuff

Girlfight - http://atomicmerkin.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=61823

This one's weird, and won't make any sense for a while yet since I haven't actually introduced the character featured in it, despite her being from Payne and Black's past. It'll make sense later.

Victims - http://atomicmerkin.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=61824

Some of the content here scares the fuck out of me, and I wrote it. Just incredibly disturbing at times, as Black hunts a serial killer he thought he'd conquered years prior.


Statement of Purpose - http://www.bustedquad.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=31939

I channel Chris G and cut a really fun and fluid promo with Brendan Black. *I* had fun with it...

Moments Forever Faded - http://www.bustedquad.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=31951

A brush up on history as a primer to my upcoming feud with Jake Steel. I'm really happy with the writing in this one, as it manages to read well even to those who know the history already.

God I've been productive lately.

October 9th, 2007

Yuh, it's exactly one month to the day since my last post here and I has more RPs. w00t.

LOTS of Brendan Black work, too...

Pull Harder on the Strings of Your Martyr -http://www.bustedquad.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=31498

Your introduction to the Authority, and one of my favourite promos that I've ever done, I think.

Jericho Crumbles - http://www.bustedquad.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=31522

Black addressing how Jericho is being affected by the loss of his girlfriend, Felicity. If Cory can de-lazy himself, he can post Jericho's side of things so you can all see that he's more talented than me.

Sleepwalking Past Hope - http://www.bustedquad.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=31556

Speaking of which, Cory replies to Jericho Crumbles, I reply to his reply further down. Fun times.

And then, the return to DCW!

Hero ( dreamer ) - http://atomicmerkin.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=61734

Crazy, sleep deprived writings from the POV of Brendan Black. Written while I was...crazy and sleep deprived. Funny that.

What Is and What Should Never Be v1: Brendan Black - http://atomicmerkin.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=61735

Oh yes. My favourite idea for a story in some time has come to fruition. Those up on their continuity will really enjoy this, and I will note, this IS in continuity. Figure it out folks.


Quite a bit there.

September 9th, 2007


All are Brendan Black

Suburbia - Autumn's introduction!


At Your Funeral - The return of Boomer Matthews...


Brendan Black: The Musical part 1 - Take Evil Dead the Musical and sub in e-fedders...oh yes, it shall be fun. Needless to say, it's non-canon.


August 28th, 2007


Warning: Features SPOILERS about the end of Ending Battle. Also a much needed jumping on point for Brendan Black, as I'm starting something new with him. ALSO, uses some fun shifts in style. Give it a look. And dammit, if you read it, whether you're a member of the community or not, gimme some love and feedback.

August 4th, 2007

They walk along the sunset, tracing lines in the earth beneath them. Eyes locked, hands clinched together. Every breath is synonymous with the three words they think define their lives. Two become one, greater than the individual parts, the usual batch of cliches. Swing back to them though, and the couple looks perfectly happy, don’t they? Don’t they? Come on, you know they do. They don’t understand the world outside their tiny bubble within it, nor should they really have to.

Nor should anyone fucking have to.

The world’s full of dark things. You know it, but you deny it. You live in your comfortable little world, with the comfortable people around you, and you do anything you can to turn a blind eye. A drink here. A fuck there. A kiss, a piss, and a cup of fucking tea. This is your life in a nutshell.

Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be surprised. It’s not that you’re that predictable, so much as people are. They all start the same and end the same. Why should the middle portion of their existence be any different? You think you’re so fucking special, and yet, you’re still just one of the herd. Another soldier, marching on towards your own extinction and not even noticing it.

Ignorance is bliss, ay?

But not everyone can afford to be ignorant. Some of us have to step outside the cocoon of safety the rest of you muppets flock to so open heartedly. It’s survival instinct, see? We do what we must, not because we want to, but because we have to. We end up being branded as ‘heroes’ and ‘warriors’ and all sorts of noble shit all because we want to feel justified in what we do. S’all shit though. Every last bit of it.

The truth is, we do what we do for the same reason God and the Devil keep shaking their celestial cocks at one another. In the end, it’s just our nature and the hell if we’ll be able to fight it. We do what we have to in order to survive, and make no mistake, that’s all it is. In a world full of monsters ranging from supernatural to mechanical to plain old people, it’s the most important thing, don’t you think?

So that’s what I do. I fight and I kill. I don’t do it cause I like it, and christ knows the pay grade is shit. It’s just what I am. It’s what I do. I’d love to tell you something noble like ‘I do it so you can sleep safely at night, but the simple fact is, I do it so I can sleep safe at night, and the fuck with you. I suppose though, that I am doing my part towards that in a way. After all, without me, you’d be just another one of the soldiers, marching on. And trust me, they have no idea how to save themselves.

Thank Christ I’m here to do it for them.

- CsX

August 3rd, 2007

King's Game. A Brendan Black promo against Jake Steel. -

Ending Battle v1: Last Words -

Ending Battle is the three part final block of the Exodus story and oh do I have plans for it. I particularly like this piece for the closure on the Brendan Black/Exodus relationship heading into the big finale. Would it be too trite to say things will never be the same again?

July 1st, 2007

After a long wait, Hunters v3


June 7th, 2007

Hours v4 - Hospitality


Brendan Black's ever-melodramatic tale continues. YAY HUMAN DRAMA!

Brad Payne - The Diary


I'm REALLY happy with this one. And it scored a 92, so it must be good. Cory can vouce for the good of this one, as I used it to beat his sorry ass. ;)

May 18th, 2007

RP Update

Hours v3: All the Rage - http://www.wrestlingforum.com/epw-roleplay-rp-arena/339705-hours-v3-roses-dead.html

I'm happy with it. It's one of the very few things that have turned out exactly how I pictured them in my head. The story of my most human character continues.

Time to Dance - http://www.wrestlingforum.com/epw-roleplay-rp-arena/339715-brad-payne-time-dance.html

Something a little different. A standalone Payne RP which showcases an entirely different perspective. Give it a look.

Hunters v1 - http://www.wrestlingforum.com/epw-roleplay-rp-arena/341335-hunters-v1.html
Hunters v2 - http://www.wrestlingforum.com/epw-roleplay-rp-arena/342957-hunters-v2.html

The Exodus storyline escalates as a character bites it. This is all building to a fairly epic conclusion, so it's prolly worth a read.

April 27th, 2007

So what about escapism? I know we’ve talked about it, but what about it?

Have you tried it this week?

Do you know if you have?

Would you know if you did?

We all have our escapes. We all make our own haven. Don’t we?

“And if I could forget you, maybe there’s no other way out...” - My Way Out, David Usher

Can I just lose myself to this? Can I escape so thoroughly I’ll never come back?

Can I become a phantom?

Can I become illusory?

Can I become nothing more than a bad memory?

Do I even want to?

These are my questions. This is my life. This is every second of every day.

So how do you escape?

Where do you run to get away?

Do I have to leave?

Do I have to hide?

Do I have to die?

What do I have to do to disappear?

What do I have to do to make you stop caring?

What do I have to do to be forgotten?

April 25th, 2007

Exodus v2 COMPLETE


Widely considered "must read" stuff with a lot of acclaim both in and out of EPW, this is easily some of my best writing in at least six months. If you only read one piece of my writing, make it this one.

Exodus v3


The end of the Exodus block, setting up the second chapter of the trilogy. It's...different from the usual from me, but I like it. Also has several nods of approval behind it, so I can't be all wrong.

Hours v2 - Streetcar


A nice, human story in the midst of all my big exciting epics. Well worth a look.

April 13th, 2007


Headache? Check. Sore neck? Check. Booze on the breath? Check.

Yeah. I definitely got drunk last night.


I peel myself off the floor with all the speed of a slug racing a sloth. Of course, it’s either a giant slug or a tiny sloth, to regulate any advantage the size difference would make. And it’s on land, because sloths are actually fairly quick swimmers.

I’m losing track of the point. If there was one.

Narrative return.

I manage to pull myself to the sink and take a look in the mirror. I can’t be sure, but I think I chipped a tooth. Further examination proves I did, in fact, chip a tooth. Wonder how that happened. I figure it was either the ranting or showtunes. Not that I can remember. Those are just the most common reasons I come to blows while drunk. Don’t ask.

I need to shave. I look like six different kinds of hell, with a side of shit and pasta. Just for flavour. Upon discovering a sharp pain in my side, I figure I probably have a bruised rib or two to go with that chipped tooth. Shiny.

Lazily, I pull my shirt of to check the damage. No less than four smaller bruises to complement the big one which marks the sharp pain quite nicely. Furthermore, I have at least six fresh cuts on my wrists, with three that I can’t place for sure one way or another. I must have been in a foul mood when I got home.

I pop open a bottle of Ibuprofen. The bottle says to take two. I take four.

Breakfast is a healthy serving of toast and...well, toast. Truth be told, I couldn’t be fucked to make much else. Wash it down with a can of root beer, because the notion of at least drinking healthy in the morning has become as laughable as maintaining sobriety of any sort for at least three days straight.

You know, I meant that as I joke. Really I did.

So anyway, shit, shower, forget to shave, and it’s off to the races. High school a go-go. Just try to ignore the fact that I’m about an hour and a half late...

April 11th, 2007


We all strive for it. We all take every effort to attain and hold it. What does it really mean though?

Do you control your life, or does your life control you? I think I read that in some shitty ad campaign. Let’s face it, we all like to pretend the circumstances of our life are a reasonable means of diverting responsibility. “I fucked him because I was lonely.” “I killed them for God.” “I failed because the teacher hates me.” “I cut because life’s not fair.”

It’s all bullshit you know. Every single iota of it.

The truth is, we do what we want to do because at the time, we want to do it. Maybe later it becomes harder to explain why we wanted it in the first place, but that doesn’t change the fact that we did want it. We all search for control and we all panic when we find out we don’t have it, but let’s face it, no one really wants absolute control. Absolute control means absolute responsibility and we just aren’t cracked up to have that.

In short, we deny ourselves control to avoid responsibility.

Hey, don’t feel bad about it. Christ, I do it all the time. You have no idea how many times I’ve blamed extenuating circumstances for my own personal bullshit. At the end of the day, no one controls what I do and don’t do. Nobody makes my decisions for me. It’s all on me. Every last bit of it.

Remember, just because I can’t cope, doesn’t mean it’s your fault.

So lie back. Enjoy a cold one on me. Drink up and abandon every last bit of responsibility you carry, if only for a while. Feel free. Truly free to do whatever you want. Go punch out the guy who’s been looking at you cross-eyed, or get smashed and fuck a thirteen year old girl in the back of a musty Cadillac. Forget that you’ll have to deal with these things when the hangover wears off and the dull embrace of everyday life takes you once again. Forget about the lover who’ll either be mourning or betrayed. Forget everything. Lose reality.

Trust me, you’ll be happier for it in the end.

April 9th, 2007

Finished Exodus v2. It's posted at WF, to great reception. Scored 92/100, which places me amongst a handful of people to have scored 90+ on three or more occasions. Go me. I'll post the link when I'm unbanned (don't get me started on why I'm banned right now)

This is...something. I'm kind of attempting to write a sorta kinda half-fictional memoir semi-based on my own life experiences. This is the first thing that comes to mind, though it would probably be in the middle of the story. I'd really, really, REALLY, appreciate feedback on it so I can decide if I should do more or not.


It’s indescribable. The feeling of escape. The feeling of giving in. Like everything you’ve ever wanted and everything you’ve ever feared, all bound together within the confines of a blade and broken skin. You bring everything to the forefront. Every fear. Every bit of unrequited hope. Every last problem in the whole universe and for a while at least, it feels like you can just cut them away. Cut. There goes the loneliness. Cut. There’s my academic failings. Cut. Bye parental disappointment. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

Needless to say, it gets out of hand pretty quick.

Some people think to themselves, “Man, I shouldn’t bitch. My problems aren’t anywhere near as bad as some people’s.” That’s simply not true. Your problems are always worse, because they’re yours. No one in the world has to deal with them except you. Sure, there may be friends and family who deal with the backlash, but at the end of the day the problems are still on your head. Who can blame you if it gets a little overwhelming sometimes?

So you cut it away. Or drink it away. Or smoke it away. Or fuck it away. Whatever. The point is, at the end of the day, millions of people are doing everything they can to forget just how much they hate their lives. It’s only natural after all. God knows the hardest part of life is just living. Especially under the age of twenty. I mean, after that mark you can more or less coast in general apathy if you’re unhappy with your life. As a teen, everything feels so drastic. If you’re upset with the way your life is going, you decide to try and kill yourself since it’s just not worth it in the long run. I know. I’ve been there. Six times. Wasn’t fun. Then again, it really shouldn’t be.

So you do what you can to cope. Cut here. Drink there. Cut. Drink. Cut. Drink. Cut. Cut. Cut...it gets old real fast. Trust me.

April 3rd, 2007


This one's a work in progress, for my EPW Title defense on Sunday. Less than 800 words in, so there's lots more to come. I just really like the feel of it so far and would like some feedback on what's there. There is however, some backstory required.

Exodus Prologue


Exodus v1


And onto the show...

The smell.

It’s what always hits you first when you find a dead body. The scent of rot, of decaying flesh and bodily wastes released in the midst of a death rattle. It’s overpowering. The disgusting scent of your own mortality, seeping into your body through every pore. Sometimes all it takes is a shower and the feeling fades. Sometimes. Mostly it stays with you though. It becomes an obsession, the scent of death causing you to wonder if you’re still alive yourself. You begin to question whether one of your enemies finally got to you, one of the many finally having enough skill to catch you in a deeper sleep than intended and slit your throat on the spot. You wonder if you’re just a corpse, wandering aimlessly due to the soul’s inability to admit defeat and move on. Oh yes, we’re all afraid to move on. We create gods and afterlives and dedicate our whole lives to make what comes after all the better. And why? Do we have any proof there is an afterlife? Has anyone met God? Or is the notion of entropy, of utter nonexistence, so terrifying that we simply create our own beliefs to save our minds that comes with the severity of realization.

We are all alone. We are all going to die someday. And when we do, there’s a very good chance we’ll just cease to exist as our flesh sacks are left behind to rot. There’s a very strong possibility that everything we do in our lives is both futile and without purpose in the grand scheme of things. Yet we go on. We give ourselves purpose and morals and beliefs because otherwise our minds will fracture upon comprehension of the sheer futility of it all.

The gift and curse of sentience.

These are the thoughts which come to my mind upon the discovery or creation of a corpse. Somehow the notion of entropy is appealing to one who has found so much pain in the breadth of his own existence. My name is Brad although I’ve frequently been referred to as the Unholy Dragon. Ironic that a title I once gave myself as a sign of strength has proven itself my greatest weakness over time.

Alongside me is the man known as Brendan Black. He once called himself the “Messiah of Straight Edge” although I have been ensured this is no longer the case. Upon discovery of the body, he turns quickly and begins to vomit uncontrollably on the dusty concrete below. This brings to light how long this body has remained undiscovered, as the impact of the vomit stirs a cloud of dust around his feet. Truthfully, I expected this response. Normal people do not deal with death the way I do. They shouldn’t have to.

The corpse is nearly beyond recognition. Decomposition has taken its toll, as have the scavengers and vermin of the city. The head stirs slightly as a rat of some immensity crawls from the depths of the child’s eye socket. There are some levels of depravity beyond even those which I once followed. This is one of them. A child. A small, defenseless child. Tortured and murdered in the most violent manner imaginable. And why? To send us a message?

"You sick fucker..."

Brendan speaks in a hushed whisper. His eyes belie the calm facade he places upon his exterior. Inside I can see the rage boiling to the point of no control. It’s something which feels almost reminiscent of my own past. I try not to dwell on it, realizing the dangers associated with such a mindset. The problem however, lies in the fact that I can feel the same rage bursting inside me, threatening to drown me if I don’t attend to it. I need an outlet for my rage. I need something to destroy. Instead, I keep my calm and begin my analysis.

"The body’s been here for some time, untouched no less. He must have killed her no more or less than a month back, though I can’t be certain of the time without a more thorough analysis which I am quite frankly not prepared to engage in at the moment."

"I don’t blame you."

"I didn’t imagine you would."

Brendan stares at the corpse, the red hatred burning brighter in his eyes. Everything about him screams that he is aching for a fight. Moreover, he’s aching for a target. Someone to rake his anger and pour it into. The lust for vengeance burned bright and powerful.

"How the fuck did he manage to keep this a secret so long?"

He owns the building. It was condemned years ago and he bought the property, but has chosen not to do anything with it since.
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